What You Can Do for Your Mental Health Today...

Mental health has become the topic on everyone’s minds when scrolling through our social media. So, what can be said that has not been said already? Is it a matter of talking to a therapist on a regular schedule? Do you take supplements or medications? Perhaps stepping outside when you first wake up in the morning to breathe in fresh air and ingest the UV from the sun could be enough to motivate you to start the day. The true problem lies within the personal belief of what is right and what is wrong.

One of the first things a baby learns is how to obtain pleasure. They learn crying receives attention, physical contact, and food. As the child grows, their parents, guardians, and society tell them what they are and are not allowed to do to receive pleasure. However, the message continues to change as they get older. Some are taught what they can and cannot eat. They are told when they can and cannot run. You must wait until you are married to have sex, or, as long as you use a condom, you can have as much sex as you want. So, the pursuit for pleasure becomes more difficult than it has to be.

From the teachings of Dr. Nagoski, in Come as You Are, society has told everyone what does and doesn’t give them pleasure without taking into consideration that one person’s pleasure may feel different from another’s. Some people are told certain things should give them pleasure, yet they do not feel it when they partake. Other people are told what they shouldn’t receive pleasure from, and they feel ashamed when they do, or they simply avoid it all together. Many people are taught life is a struggle, that it is always difficult, and if you are not burned out by the amount of work and pressure you put on yourself, then you are not succeeding. Then they begin to feel shame when they are enjoying life and don’t feel the pressure anymore. So, how does one enjoy life if you are never allowed to learn what gives you pleasure by yourself for yourself?

Find what gives you pleasure. Sounds simple enough, right? However, pleasure is never that simple. In the beginning of Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score, he talks about how veterans with PTSD are unable to enjoy life when they return home to family’s and friends. They feel enjoying life’s pleasures means they have forgotten about the destruction they and their comrades endured and created, and it would disgrace those that did not make it home. Finding pleasure can be very difficult for those who have had it taken from them, or when pleasure has become painful or feared. A person can feel that they don’t deserve pleasure because they were taught rewards are not received until an accomplishment has been made. A person could have acted horrifically in the past; thus they must punish themselves by withholding pleasure. Something as simple as eating ice cream in bed could become a constant reminder of a failed relationship with a lover that loved eating ice cream in bed. Here lies the other issue with pleasure. A person’s pleasure changes just as often as how much they grow and change.

So, what is the best solution for achieving and maintaining mental wellness? It depends solely on the individual and understanding that what may have given you pleasure in the past may not continue to give you pleasure in the future. You must be open to trying new things and remember to involve the people around you because their level of pleasure will continue to change, too. No two people are the same, nor is any treatment for any one illness. Life is filled with trial and error and so is the pursuit for mental health. The only thing that will never work is not trying.